Last night it all kicked off. Massive family drama. I don't know if I've mentioned it or not but my sister is a huge source of trouble for me. No matter what I do or don't do its my fault. My mam defends her no matter what. And even though she's a bitch to me constantly she's my sister and I love her. But I can't take any more of her crap. A while back I lent her some money and now that I need it for my rent it's not acceptable. LONG STORY SHORT... she went berserk at me last night over the money she owes me. My mam defended her and then threatened to walk out and not come back... because get this... MY ATTITUDE. It was a very surreal moment. I need to get out of this poisonous environment asap. It was just the last straw and I think you can tell from my blog, I am a big ol' cryer. Wear the emotions on the sleeve. So I just broke down and really sobbed. Probably over dramatically but it just came out. (i guess it wasn't just that one moment but the culmination of all the times I let her walk all over me) ok ok ok I'm gonna save the rest for therapy....
Instead of talking to some one about it I went straight for the fridge. And scarfed down anything with cheese. I had a massive cheese overload. And you know what? I don't really even like cheese that much. But it didn't stop me from getting out the nachos practically emptying an entire bag of cheese on it... an entire tub of salsa and just ploughing through it. My only saving grace is that I stopped eating at 95 %... and then I had like 10 spring rolls. Not healthy ones I could easily make at home ooooooooh nooooo. DEEP FAT FRIED ONES. bah.
*points at self* stupid person. I hope I grasp what I am doing before it happens next time. Oh I know there'll be a next time. I just love this shitty repetitive behaviour, don't you? It wouldn't have been too bad but I didn't really pull any moves at the gym. Stupid people chatting all the time. 20 minute limit on the machines. It just sucked.
So today? Completely regret the fat fest. What can I do? Move on. Again. Not whine or obsess about it and hopefully work my butt off the rest of the week and pray to maintain. On top of all this crap my period is like three weeks late. Bah. The fact that it is currently pissing it down outside does not help one ounce. Though it is not like I can't exercise inside...
My sister is going away for a couple of days.
Both my brother and dad are away til Saturday.
I should be moving out in less than two weeks.
I finally made it into size 24 at Asda (Walmart) so I got myself two cardigans.
Back on track food wise.
This is only the second time I have sat down all day. Bring on those steps.
Just want to say a massive thank you to all of those lovely people that commented on my guest post on Carlos's blog last week. Which you can read here.... awesomest guest post ever.