Wednesday, 23 September 2009

big fat pile of stupid!

My ex. The heart breaker got in touch last night.
After two years.
He looks amazing.
I am still two stone heavier. With a face full of angry spots.

What did I do?
Immediately vomited. My whole body started shaking. Heart pounding!
Cried. He was a complete cunt to me. But... he still has that effect on me.
He caused an actual physical reaction!!!

Sat down on the couch, cried some more and ate an entire box of biscuits.
Glad that's all there was to eat or I would be binging like crazy.
Sorry I was planning to catch up on blogs last night but he totally threw me for a loop.

I am an idiot in more ways than one.


big_mummy said...

yes you are but he is a massive toss pot. why did he get in touch?

dont stress about the biscuits, it happens. draw a line under it and move on. He was a wanker, which means he probably still is- move past it.

Ill look for you in IM later xx enjoy uni xx

Aimee said...

i dunno what to say, since i don't know the i'll leave you :( and xoxoxoxo.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Hold the damn phone, YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT!

Shit happens that throws us emotionally and we tend to turn back to the comfort that got us through before.

Next time hold your pretty head up, tell him to fuck off, and be done. You have him on a pedestal it sounds, and it seems he doesn't deserve to be there. Climb out of your cookie coma and step away from the pedestal to take a look at reality. He's just another guy. An asshole. No use getting sick over him.

PS: Super super super huge hugs sent out your me if you want to talk! <3

phelpsvj said...

men always throw me off my game too, no matter what frame of mind i'm in. Take a deep breath. Calming thoughts are with you.

Emily said...

You certainly are not an idiot.

You are a wonderful person. Remember that!

Take care!

Vita said...

Hi, i've just found your blog and read this post. And I know exactly what you are talking about. What did he want, your ex? After two years?
I have experienced the similar thing with my ex friend just couple weeks ago. He had broken my heart, stopped even talking with me, I had been in huge depression crisis for a half of year (oh, and I have gained 15 kg during that time) and when I finally started feeling better, after 9 months not talking and pretending I'm not here he came back with a weak excuse. Well, they got nerve, these exes... Don't let it to go to your head, he is just not worth it. Good luck :)

antgirl said...

I'm going to add to the "you're not an idiot" chorus.

Once a wanker, always a wanker. We've all been or will be fools for love. It's part of the whole life experience thing.

You're at uni and persuing the best you. Keep your focus on that. There's a whole damn lot of opportunity right outside your door.

I have an ex I used to tell f*** off to on a regular basis. Apparently that's the foundation for friendship as we ended up being friends. However, the Husband unit was a bit jealous, so had to drop the friendship thing in the end.

foolsfitness said...

There is a woman out there that can do that to me. I guess its a blessing in a way to me able to feel so intenesly but I dont like that power she can weild.

I'm picking up the pieces after a horrible day... and massive food fest yesterday. Haven fully got the eating in order yet either

hey you may have a bit more a** but likely he will remain an a** if he didn't see the treasure you are.

*hugs* from Foolsfitness-Alan

KrysTros said...

I will pass on the ultimate wisdom that has seen my best friend and I through some ugly spots the past 16+ years and has saved us from recycling old boyfriends.


Laura said...

Sounds like your subconcious knows he is a pain!

I found a good product which makes a huge diference to if i get spots is Dead sea magic gentle cleansing facial wash which kills skin bacteria - i get it from holland and barret but have also seen it in my local independant heath food shop.

large one off or daily amounts of junk/takeaway/
highly processed foods (which include saturated/hydogenated fat) make me prone to breakout but i can "get away" with some once a week or so.

Of course everyone is different but i hope thats some help :-)

PS read all your blog and admire your determination to keep moving forward.

Keep being the best you, you can be today!

Hugs! Laura xx

F. McButter Pants said...

My sweet many things I want to write to you. Sadly I am trying to decide if my soup is going to stay down, so not in the mood to write what I really want to say.

I owe you a long

Big Love and a puffy hug!

MackAttack said...

Oh boooo, why do stupid men always come knocking at the wrong time. Good job stopping with the biscuits. Trust me, I've gone out to add to a post ex binge.

Sounds like your body knows he's a total loser. Frankly, I'd rather be anything other than a complete a-hole.

Fat Lazy Guy said...

=/ Don't know what to say. It's not fun when people have that sort of control over you. I hope you feel better soon.

Julie said...

That's shitty :(
It's not worth fretting over. Don't look back and move ahead.
{{Big hugs}}