I was in a bad place. The last two weeks has seen my eating grown enormously out of control. In fact if I told you what I ate you'd be sick from just hearing about it. It sickens me to think about it. My mother tried to reign me in but all I did was yell at her and say "I AM 22 YEARS OLD I'LL EAT WHAT THE HELL I WANT." So embarrassed to say that. My moods have been all over the place. One day I am extremely happy on top of the world the next I am suicidal. There is no in between. I have snapped and been nasty to everyone trying to give me support. For that reason I haven't blogged. I just feel poisonous of late. Big surprise I skipped weighing in with the nurse.
Every day I have been waking up waiting for the motivation to grab me and shake me in to submission. It hasn't happened. It will not happen. I NEED TO FIND IT. I cannot sit here and wait for life to happen to me. I must make things happen. No one else can do this for me. No magic wand. I keep thinking it has to be something big to motivate me, something momentous but that is not true. I just have to do it.
Watch this whining space!
Catch up on blogs soon. x promise!