Saturday, 21 February 2009

good stuff... and lists!

It's my final night at home and it's been a rollercoaster of a week (and a bit) but a great learning curve. Definitely learnt alot. Which is great. I am sad to leave home but in another way I am glad to go back to Manchester. I am determined to make another 3 pound loss this week just to reach my first stone loss!
Things that I have learnt...
[a] my body has limits to exercising and that I must listen to them.
[b] Pizza cravings are nasty and I must keep an eye on them.
[c] That I can have a post weigh in treat and not over worry.
[d] that children can be unbelievingly cruel.
[e] pizza hut is expensive.
[f] that when I am upset the exercise bike is a really great thing to calm me down.
[g] keeping a motivation diary helps more than I ever thought it would.
[h] what nsv actually means.
[i] the bloggers I have come across on my journey are great people and are extremely inspirational.
[j] my weight loosing is a long term goal, I finally accepted that.
[k] i can't do my hair the way the hairdresser did it.
[l] I secretly like running when no one watches.
[m] I have never had this much energy ever.

On another positive note I bought a blender. After reading Definitely No More Cheesepuffs and learning of her crazy r.ship with her blender I decided to invest. Mine is no way near as high tec or so expensive but OHHHHHH YES. Made my first one this morning (with limited supplies) and it was delicious. A nice alternative to my usual solid breakfasts. Very refreshing. Yum Yum. Looks a little bland but hey... creativity is just around the corner.

My motivation diary is on a roll. I have taken to writing every thing down that I hate about being fat. Stuff like the kids at pizza hut or not fitting comfortably on a seat on the bus. And it is building up quite heavily. Which I hate and love at the same time. I love it because it is definitely motivating me more but I also hate it because its a lot of bloody reasons and I've just let these things affect me for soooooo long and I shouldn't have. Some of them are soooo embarassing. I mentioned before about writing the list of reasons I no longer wanted to be fat and I think Allison said I should post it but looking at it right now I am sooooooo not ready for anyone else to read it. Maybe one week soon. Other things to motivate me are pictures of me. I pretty much find all photographs of me repulsive. My ex boyfriend told me to make a collection of them and look at them regularly to accept who I am, was and will be. But also to see how much I have changed. So sometime soon I'm gonna post my ugly pics in order to get them out of fat closet. Accept them and move on. I'm going to start with this one of my exercise attire. EURGH


~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Don't EURGH your exercise clothes! If they're comfortable and work for what they're used for who cares? And if you're really that eurghed by them, treat yourself! Next NSV or mini goal you make, treat the shit out of yourself and buy some crazy wonderful excersize gear! I have to do it every so often, I just love yoga pants to exercise in, and those so ugly on my fat rolls but so pretty on the hanger tops that keep my boobs from flying into my eye lol.

Congrats on what you've done so far and good luck with every step yet to come!

Dina said...

pizza is a nasty beast, I've had to learn not to even start with it :)

wildfluffysheep said...

@ugly girl with a beautiful heart
It's not the close I am eurgh at its me in them. I like my clothes cause they're comfy I hate how I look in them. but I have found some exercise jogging bottoms to invest in for the gym. I couldn't leave the house like that.

thanks ever so much for posting.

Sooo true. Hopefully I have satisfied that beast for a long long long while. Thanks for commenting.

Tricia said...

I know what you mean about the hairdresser. I can just never get it as good, not even close!

Kids are jerks sometimes, for sure. Sorry you had to deal with that at the pizza shop. It sucks that it's so acceptable too. Kills me.

And hey, your exercise gear is still way better than mine, so find relief in that :P Thanks for joining my blog!

Wendy Lou said...

I made a similar list of things I hate about being fat and I can tell you, mine is REALLY RIDICULOUSLY LONG. I do like to look at it though when I get to that point where I want to throw my hands up in the air and tell myself that I'm okay with being fat for forever.

Don't get me started on kids. I hate going anywhere where there may be kids of the speaking age who will say something rude. And true.

I can't wait until we're both able to run about freely at pizza shops in front of kids and frat boys and not feel self conscious!!