Sunday, 19 April 2009

lessons learning....

The BBQ went awesome. Maybe a little too well.
It was sunny and relaxed and I actually struck up some intelligible conversation as apposed to my mumbling and moving on technique. I felt happy and confident. Trying to stick to the low cal alcohol I managed to go ok with the gin and tonic but seriously ended up a few more than intended. I wasn't drunk but enough to loosen my good food attitude which made for some bad food choices. Mainly too many choices.

I realised today I don't just over eat when I'm sad but also when I'm really happy. I know that sounds crazy but its true. I was in that happy anything flies mode. Oh just one more deep fried wing, I rarely go out whats this one time.... one more g'n't and then I realise I had been saying that for the last 6 or 7. I am only ever doing good when I feel ok. Or when I am in hermit mode. Why can't I be happy and good? When I feel happy I tend not to care about the bad because I don't want to ruin the mood, like if I deny myself something it would be the end of the frickin' world.

Also my face has broken out from all the fatty crap I ate. A mountain range has practically sprung up on face. MY BODY IS CLEARLY SCREAMING DON'T BLOODY EAT IT. Yet as much as I hate the spots and the gains and unhappy times they bring with them its not enough for me to just simply say no.

*sigh* This is not a miserable post btw. I had a great day, I had great night last night at the BBQ and I am looking forward to the week. Annnnnnnnd if the sun hangs around long enough I may even venture out in the skirt. Here's hoping....

10 comments:

Monica said...

Grr! dont you hate when your face breaks out? Two weeks ago I ate to my hearts content and then my face turned into a pepperoni pizza!

Its better now! Also, Im uber envious of your confidence, however it is very inspiring :)

Ang said...

Don't you just love it when you become aware that your other body parts are telling you NO MORE and you wonder were they telling me this before or am I just listening now?

Learning to be Less said...

Good job at the BBQ. Don't beat yourself over some extra calories. Just put that skirt on tomorrow and get right back to the diet.

This is real life and I think you did quite well.

kristisummer said...

glad you had fun and discovered something about yourself at the same time.

Chews to Lose said...

So glad to hear you had a great day. I know that you were struggling (like me) and a good day can turn it all around.
I eat when I'm happy/sad/mad pretty much any event can make me want to shove something in my mouth.
Mingling isn't my thing at all. I suck at it - but from what you said you were out there having fun. That's all that counts. Sometimes I think we draw more attention to ourselves sitting in the corner. Imagine that!

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Glad to hear you had fun :) The thing with alcohol is that it's an appetite stimulant, so it might've just been the alcohol, not the happiness :)

Carlos said...

glad the bbq went well...

SeaShore said...

Glad to hear you had a good time.

I tend to overeat when I'm happy, too. Food naturally goes with celebrations, happy feelings, and good times.

antgirl said...

Glad you had such a good time.

I know what you mean. New habits take time to set in & alcohol usually sends any intentions into the winds.

As Ang says, that awareness is good though. I learned the same thing early into my reconstruction and it kept me on track more. When I eat right I feel even better. Have you noticed that yet? Then you can feel good anytime you want by being good to yourself. :)

MizFit said...

interesting that I didnt read it as miserable ---even before your disclaimer---but purely honest.

entirely.