Wednesday, 6 May 2009

I want this...

I really really WANT this. I need it. Today I feel it in my belly. lol. Pun intended. I feel that fire, that burn of wanting it, craving it, visualising the weight loss. Maybe this feeling won't be here long but I am determined to capitalise on it before it deserts me. I feel much stronger in myself. These last couple of days have been shit. No real attempts at weight loss or eating right, no real attempts at anything. I look back and think how stupid I am that I have wasted these last few days but I am not going to dwell on it. I am moving forward.

Tomorrow is weigh in. I am not optimistic that the scale is going to be my friend. I managed to do an hour on the wii and an hour and a half gym session and a game of cricket that almost gave me a heart attack (only got 15 runs) but I doubt that is enough to pull this week back. No matter, this next week will be kick ass.

I have avoided the blog because I really haven't had anything positive or interesting to say. Literally done nothing but feel sorry for myself, eat and mooch on the couch reading books. I just read all the great comments that people left on my last post. It made me smile to see such great support. I've been slacking on responses of late. I will get on to that.

It was sad when Pedro was lost to a bus stampede... however the time of mourning is over. Meet Paolo.... My new stepping friend. So great numbers expected. I feel we will become great friends.

With the late nights I have been having I've found it super hard to get up before noon the last couple of days but tomorrow I have to be up early for my blood tests so I hope this will help reset my early morning routine and get me back to sleeping right. The sleeping thing really throws. I FUCKING LOVE TO SLEEP.

I am determined to not let the scale ruin my mood tomorrow. I best go check out what everyone else has been up to since I went into sloth mode. Here's to positivity...

11 comments:

Monica said...

Let me be the first to welcome Paolo! Woohoo!!

You should still write when you are down, we love you and your blogs whether you are upbeat or crabby :)

Thats supposed to be uplifting, dammit.

big_mummy said...

welcome paulo!! ,may you have a long and happy steppy life and may you always stay secure!

Tony said...

Yes! Remember that the scale is just a number (I always have a hard time with this...).

Ang said...

Welcome Paolo..

And hey you missy..post more!!! Need to see your smiling face :) Cause I care and I look for your posts.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Yay for Paolo!

I agree with Monica, we do adore you!

I love sleeping, I hate that I can't sleep. I don't crawl into bed til 12 or later then regardless of amount of sleep I'm up at 7 am. Boooo! Sometimes I'd really like to be able to sleep in til 10.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

PS: left ya something on my blog!

antgirl said...

Hey Paolo! Welcome to the party.

I love sleeping, too. I can understand that. I was jsut about to poke at you.

You can do this and have everything you want. You really can. Your dreams can be reality. One step at a time. :)

Fit Fabulous 40's Flab Free said...

Hello Paulo... I agree with Monica in the fact that you should still blog when you are down. I will make that promise too.

Fat[free]Me said...

Love Paolo - I think he will be great company on your walks.

Glad to see you posting again - have missed you.

Still not caught up with BL - got to watch from Fri onwards, have had no time so far, maybe this eve!

It was annoying me too, the constant repetition of sound-bites, the competitors being sick (which is unneccesary and not a good impression to give to the viewing public of what is needed to lose weight) and not enough facts and figures to make sense to me (I like facts and figures). I am hoping that last one will improve in the fri episode.

Anyhoo, keep on keeping on - I know you can do it now you have Paolo by your side.

Hugs x

Aimee said...

missed ya, doll!

arielcircleofnine said...

I love Paulo's sleek sexy red body. Another latino boy toy watching your every move and counting your every step! :-D