Thursday, 6 August 2009

Thursday and shizzle...

Last night saw me the opposite to positive. My sister was around causing lots of trouble and as usual I got it in the neck. I really don't have the time to explain what happened but its obvious I live in a parallel universe to my family because after all her screaming, vicious hurtful words and foul language I was the bad person... so go figure. So I really was feeling rock bottom. I don't know how much longer I can survive here. My mood is up and down like a vicious yo yo. And last night I was very close to just letting loose and eating what ever the fuck I could get my hands on but instead I had nice chat with my guru and levelled out with three rice cakes, calorie counted of course. I had really good cry... I mean a really cry. Two hours of hard core sobbing. On the plus side I actually got an apology out of her and I had a really good nights sleep. Maybe I needed a release.

My family have eaten out so much this week its annoying. I am so proud of myself for not joining them once. I did crack last week. But no bakery, no fish and chips, no fatty bacon sarnies. Its so hard but my will power is getting strong. I cannot wait to get back to having my own place and getting away from all this negative behaviour. It is driving me insane.

What I am not proud of is. I sneaked a peek on the scales this morning. My mam had left them out and I thought surely this one look won't hurt... why do i do it? Every time. It just disheartens when I think it will motivate. Stoopid. I have decided I do like it best just not knowing until official weigh in. Even if I do complain about it. I just feel like what ever I am doing is just not working.

My sports active work outs are clearly not happening. I just can't get any tv time at all. Sucky but every thing else is bang on so I'm not gonna cry over it. C25k week3day2 went alot better.

minimum of 2 litres of water a day. DONE
10, 000 steps. 10775
no longer than 4 hours to blog.DONE
at least 5 portions of fruit/veg. 9.1
45 minutes of exercise every day. C35K (26 mins) 45 minutes stepping
at least one form out door exercise. did my c25k outside.
complete my 30 day sports active on time this time. FAIL
plan meals. (especially for weekends away) Eating the chilli i made and the fish was lovely.


F. McButter Pants said...


So sorry that you are having a bad day. It's not forever, you will soon be out of there.

I know that getting good sleep is major in loosing weight. Maybe that has something to do with it. It doesn't sound like you are in a situation where you are getting quality sleep. You are loosing, just not like you want. Don't focus so much on the scale. Easier said then done, I know!

Just don't give up. We are all here for you. Vacation soon, right?

I puffy heart you ( i loved that, you have the cutest sayings )


big_mummy said...

First of all, i love that i am now known only as your guru.
Second of all- your sister is a brat, you get to have a couple of days away from her- make them count.
Thirdly- what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
Forthly (is that a word) - Not long till you come to stay in Essex! boo yakka!

Fat Lazy Guy said...

You're persevering, getting stronger! GO YOU! Definitely something to be proud of!

Congratulations on getting week 3 day 2 done! That's crazy awesome! I'm not looking forward to day 3 yet, but I know when it's done I'll be grinning :) We're almost at week 4!!!!! Week 4 day 2 is halfway! We're almost halfway!

TJ said...

family can really get us upset huh? Hang in there! Im proud that you haev held up on all of the eating out!! :) (((HUGS)))

Tricia said...

Sisters are a real pain in the ass.

I'm so proud of you for rising above it! Keep it up, friend.

Thanks again for the card, it was really cute!

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Sorry to hear things are such crap lady!

Keep your head up, as Tricia said keep rising above it. You're better than it! And worth so much more than the crap that you're getting.

We're all here and loves ya!

Fat[free]Me said...

I really would have given her a bit of a slap by now, seriously, I don't know how you restrain yourself.

So glad you are getting a break from it all soon.


Learning to be Less said...

Girl you are rockin on your goals. Sorry your sister sounds like such a bitch (sorry, that is not nice of me but she is mean to my friend and made her cry). Maybe she needs to just work on herself.

Terrific that you have stuck to your plan even with all the family problems and eating out.

I remember one summer I went home from college. Did you read that? One summer. Once you have been out of the house, no matter what your room mate (or is it flat mate?) is like, it is so hard to go back. The family tends to annoy you so much more because you have changed and matured and they have stayed the same.

Just think of how great you will feel to be healthier and thinner when you go back. How much longer is it for you?

I am SO, SO, SO proud of you this week!!!!

Also, I am have the same scale obsession (and disappointment) as you this week.

antgirl said...

You'll be back at Uni soon, yes? I hope so. In the meantime, if you write it up I bet it'd make for a great story.

Look at your impressive vortex of strength!! If that isn't sparkly and positive, I don't know what is.

I'll e-mail you my strength workout routine later. I need some time to put it together.

If I lived over there, I'd let you come stay with me. Hugs and keep your chin up. Living well and being happy is the best revenge. :)Until that sinks in [takes time for me], go play darts or something and envision their heads on the board. I do the same thing with bowlign and the pins. I'm sure you get the idea.

MackAttack said...

oh family....such a challenge. Good luck, I've decided just to get through it and feel things later...