And I am a serial quitter.
I do not even know where to begin. I daren't even weigh in I know that I have gained that much. I cannot believe i have let myself get far worse than when I first started. It is embarrassing and shameful. I have been un able to even read others blogs because the success stories remind I am the worst kind of loser and the people in my position just echo the sad mess I find myself in. Neither producing motivation of any kind.
The last couple of weeks I have blamed the gains on work related stress and other family related problems. Why can I not be one of those people who lose weight in stressful times? bah.
I cannot get any fatter. My brother is a lot fatter than me and I cannot reach that level. I watch his struggles and weight related problems, I CANNOT BECOME LIKE HIM. I struggle enough as it is. I am in fact so far back past square one, I can no longer see it. It is a vague shape in the dark.
I feel lost. stuck. sad.alone.fat.miserable.confused.angry.helpless.
But I need to do this. I dont want to die before I am thirty.
over and out.