Sunday, 21 August 2011

Unrecognisable...

This week has been an experience. I hit an all time low mentally and physically an all time high. The two are not a great combination. In fact just typing that sentence has exhausted me. everything these days does. That extra weight I have gained is actually starting to physically hurt me. I have always been fat but it is starting to affect my life noticeably. My work uniform is shrinking, my back aches, my feet hurt, the thighs are rubbing again, I am exhausted all the time, I just want to sleep and eat and do nothing.


I weighed in at my weight watchers meeting and after a seven pound gain took me over a weight threshold I never thought I hit. I broke down. Sobbing frantically. My leader hugged me till I stopped and sat me aside till we worked through some stuff. I didn't care that everyone was looking at me or I stopped others weighing in. I was a mess. I hope I can work up the courage to go next week.


I can't make any promises or even put in to words what I actually need to do to get back on track because there is so much. So one thing at a time, slowly slowly til I feel the momentum catching me again. 

6 comments:

Debby said...

Well I tried to go into email mode, but I don't seem to have your email in my contact list. I swear we've emailed before!!! GRRRRR

Anyway...it took a lot of moxy for you to write that post. I am right there with you. Maybe we can figure this out together?

kidsrme@hotmail.com

Katy @ Fit In Heels said...

Hoping you find the inspiration... we are all here for you!

Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher said...

Oh no, this makes me so sad to read, Simone :( I want you healthy and happy. Do you think you need help that you yourself can't provide? Nutritionist, therapist, etc? fb me if you want to talk <3

Katie J ♥ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Katie J ♥ said...

Oops... let's try this again.

Been thinking about you lately and glad to see that you posted. I am sorry you are feeling the way you do. YOU can change my sweet girl! You have to commit to yourself and know that YOU are worth it.

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

Hugs. I know its hard when you set a threshold that you will not pass and pass it. I have done that to myself so many times. Sending hugs and hopes that maybe you will find inspiration in your time of despair