Saturday, 28 February 2009

the friday blues... and maybe some running shoes?

Well it is now Saturday... but I need to touch upon yesterday. What a bloody miserable start to the day I had. Thursday I lost my stone and was excited and happy beyond belief and was thinking that that happiness would be long lived. Alas no. For some reason I didn't sleep all too well and felt so miserable on waking up that I wanted to spend all day in bed and just cry. No idea why. I have nothing to feel miserable or sad about. NOT ONE THING. So I dragged my miserable arse out of bed and went off to university. Not the most interesting lecture and it did nothing to improve my mood. Not even the surprise visit to an art gallery instead of the usual stupid seminar, cheered me up. Came home and just sat on the couch for several hours watching mind numbing tv. NOT HEALTHY. Didn't make one effort to get my essay started.

Then from nowhere I was like f**k it. No one else can make me happy except me. I just have to shake me out of this pointless misery. So at 7pm I headed for the gym. Yes THE GYM. It took me by surprise that that is where I wanted to be. On the way there I was thinking, man, I'm such a loser hitting the gym on a friday night. I'm 21 years old I should be at a party or hanging out with friends. I shrugged that off. I realised that yes I could be doing more fun things but I never enjoy them because I am too busy worrying about how fat I am. So if going to the gym on friday night brings me one more step closer to not being enormous then so be it. And off I went.
Did a solid hour on the bike. Got my usual lovely bums view. *sigh* I thought the gym might be empty with it being a friday night but there was still a decent amount of people in there. That made me feel a whole lot better. The excercise cleared my mind and I came out feeling calm refreshed and absolutely knackered. Needless to say I slept like a log last night and am back on the bandwagon of positivity.

On maybe another positive note... I signed up for a charity run. I know I can barely run in public but it says you don't have to run the entire way, its more about raising money for breast cancer. There are thousands of ladies across England doing it so I saw the ad and signed up immediately. I am not regretting it as yet.  So there is something else to motivate me its a good six months away so I have the oppertunity to be prepared for it. I just hope I don't end up regretting it.

MUST FINISH ESSAY *POOF- dissappears under a stack of books*


Dina said...

Awesome way to snap yourself out of it! I'm impressed you went to the gym!

The charity run sounds fun :)

Carlos said...

wow you are a machine... good luck on the run... It's a cause that's close to my heart... save the teets!

May said...

Thats exactly how I feel on weekends, like I should be going out, but Im always so self conscious to enjoy anything anyways, because I always feel like everyone is pointing "the fat girl out" wondering what the hell she is doing here...Im so happy that you went to the gym and so excited for your race!

Wendy Lou said...

Good job going to the gym!! I sometimes also have days where I hate everyone and everything and all I want to do is cry and eat ice cream. I'm not yet motivated enough though to drag my butt to the gym, but so help me I think I'll need to start motivating myself instead of wallowing in self pity.

Thanks for such an awesome blog! It's just what I needed today.

Losing Waist! said...

Yes! The gym can alleviate issues! I felt terrible about how I ate last night and instead of eating today because of my shame from yesterday I went to the gym and did a double workout... I feel great!

You are doing great with the gym... keep it up!

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Good for you hon for picking yourself up! I wish I had that same ability! Be proud of yourself for sticking with the gym and workin it hardcore, I'm proud of you! Good luck on the run!

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Freaking awesome, yo! Well done! :)

And that's great about the charity run!

Just general awesomeness in your direction :D

antgirl said...

You're doing so great. What great motivation for me! Thanks.

wildfluffysheep said...

thankyou. it did take a huge effort to move my arse from the couch. the charity run sounds more scary every time I say it.

thank you. I need all the luck I can get. my friend. lol. ah, save the teets. I feel that is my new mantra.

Yeah, weekends can be pretty tough. Again I am learning this the hard way this weekend. I am excited about the race now too. I wonder how i excited I will be closer to it.

@Wendy Lou
Thanks. Those days are pretty sucky. You have no idea the effort it took to go to the gym. I still can't believe I did it. You don't have to go to the gym to escape... just motivating yourself to snap out of it is more than enough. Thanks for saying my blog is awesome.

@Losing Waist
I know! I can't believe how calming the gym is. It really cleared my head. I think I am definitely warming to the gym. Thanks for encouraging.

@Ugly girl with a beautiful heart
Thankyou, thankyou and thankyou! I am a little proud of myself for sticking with the gym. Just have to keep it up :D

@Fat Lazy Guy
well thank you very much. I do like awesomeness :D

Thank-you very much. I know this sounds really corny but reading comments like that are really heart warming.