Then from nowhere I was like f**k it. No one else can make me happy except me. I just have to shake me out of this pointless misery. So at 7pm I headed for the gym. Yes THE GYM. It took me by surprise that that is where I wanted to be. On the way there I was thinking, man, I'm such a loser hitting the gym on a friday night. I'm 21 years old I should be at a party or hanging out with friends. I shrugged that off. I realised that yes I could be doing more fun things but I never enjoy them because I am too busy worrying about how fat I am. So if going to the gym on friday night brings me one more step closer to not being enormous then so be it. And off I went.
Did a solid hour on the bike. Got my usual lovely bums view. *sigh* I thought the gym might be empty with it being a friday night but there was still a decent amount of people in there. That made me feel a whole lot better. The excercise cleared my mind and I came out feeling calm refreshed and absolutely knackered. Needless to say I slept like a log last night and am back on the bandwagon of positivity.
On maybe another positive note... I signed up for a charity run. I know I can barely run in public but it says you don't have to run the entire way, its more about raising money for breast cancer. There are thousands of ladies across England doing it so I saw the ad and signed up immediately. I am not regretting it as yet. So there is something else to motivate me its a good six months away so I have the oppertunity to be prepared for it. I just hope I don't end up regretting it.
MUST FINISH ESSAY *POOF- dissappears under a stack of books*