this ones a biggie...

After yesterdays three pound loss I had THE most intense pizza craving ever. Which I still find strange because I only started liking pizza like this last year. The last six weeks have of cutting out pizza have been really hard. I thought it would be harder to cut out the sweets but I'm finding it's the pizza that's the killer. I had a slip up the other week with pizza when I was not so hot after getting my wisdom tooth out. That wasn't about craving though that was about ease. I bounced back from it and worked hard to keep it off. In the end I didn't gain that week but I didn't lose either. It was an appropriate outcome for that week no matter how hard I still wanted to lose.

Last week was my sisters birthday and even though I didn't over indulge, the Chinese take out and the small piece of cookie cake I had had enough fat to block an artery. That pleased me still because once I stray from the routine it is usually the end of the end of end. But I didn't I managed to keep it to that minimal bit of excess. I knew it would weigh heavy on my mind (no pun intended :P) so I exercised as my much as my fat legs would let me. And it paid it off. I lost three pounds and still had my cake and had eaten it.

Which leads me to last night. This time round (it is my second major effort to lose weight) I have been forgoing my post weigh in treat. I did it the first time round and still lost every week. But this time I was adamant that there were no more treats. It has to be hardcore. However, not allowing myself small treats and being 100 percent healthy food 24/7 was giving me bad thoughts like, well I'm ill and can't go out so pizza will be OK because I've been so good. I surprised at how much it came easily to just use that as an excuse. That's when I binged on the aeros and stuff and stayed the same weight that week. Not a happy week. So last night I gave into the pizza beast.

I came to the conclusion that if I allow myself this one weekly treat I will have no reason to binge or stray from my regular regime. And that this unhealthy food would happen on my terms. So I am going to try it out. I figured if I can work off the slice of cake and the Chinese take-out and still lose three pounds then I can work off the pizza and stuff. I shall see how it goes.

What actually went down last night... was kinda weird. I just commented to CactusFreak that I wasn't a big pizza hut fan but after my weigh in I was craving pizza and decided to go up to Newcastle to meet my sister there for dinner. Couple of things I noticed in there were [a] the service was appalling, [b] it was a bit pricey (then again I was comparing it to takeout pizza places) [c] the actual pizza I had that afternoon was nigh on orgasmic. I do regret sharing a starters platter of chicken things, garlic bread and wedges with my sister. That was just excess. I make absolute no excuse for it. None. Pure greed. I went there for pizza I should have stuck with the pizza. I kinda just let it happen because I was having such a great time catching with my sister. But that's where the niceness ended. Across the table was a man and three kids. Every time he left the table the two young boys would point at me and laugh. It went on for quite a while. Even when their dad returned. The youngest of the two started making fat gestures at me. Holding out his arms round his waist extending it and pretending it wobbled and puffing out his cheeks. His dad just laughed it off. It was not fun. I'd already finished my meal and they made me want to throw it back up. I couldn't wait to leave. Even as we were walking down the street, he turned and still made the gestures. The only positive I took away from it was that I didn't cry.

So ignoring that and feeling full to the brim I set off to go to my first every poetry 10 x 10. Awesome night. Will definitely go back. I wasn't planning on spending any thing let alone having a drink but the friends I went with bought in rounds and even though I protested they wouldn't take no for an answer so instead of drinking my usual sugar overdoes formerly known as cider I relented and went for a low point gin and tonic. Kept it down to three. *phew* I mean they are soooooooo refreshing but after pizza hut fiasco I didn't want to blow out completely.

Then something really interesting happened. I was quite late and was going to miss the last metro back to my sisters place so I had to run. Physically run. IN PUBLIC. I never run. Well, never in public. The odd family game of rounders or cricket but never on the street. So I ran to the metro and made it just in time. However, it was already running late so that made me even later to catch the last bus home. So more running. This time I had to step it up. It was not pretty. My jeans had fallen down slightly even though I was wearing my belt on its last notch and my shirt had ridden up but there was nothing I could do I was mid run and didn't want to spend the night in the city alone. By the time I got to the stop the bus had pulled up and I was so out of breath I almost couldn't say my destination. So on the bus I recovered and all was well... until I missed my stop (my sister said she would be there waiting and wasn't) and ended up in the bus depot. No taxis anywhere. No more running buses. Gargh. Feeling a little bit panicky ( it was gone midnight and it was very dark and I'd never been there before) I had to walk super fast to meet my sister. Thirty minutes of brisk walking later I was at my sisters place and I was bloody well knackered. So I figure that contributes a little to working off my pizza fiasco. Slept well.

Today so far I have walked the dog for thirty minutes. Brisk walking with a little bit of running. I like the running when no ones around. It makes me feel exhilarated lol even if I am not really going far or that fast. I am also about to do some cycling on my standalone bike. Then hit some wii time. I reckon I can still work off the pizza and hit my one stone target. BRING ON ANOTHER THREE POUNDS THIS WEEK.

p.s just want to say massive thanks to the people who commented yesterday :D