Friday, 6 February 2009

ups and downs...

It's already one day after weigh in. Already I feel crap. I've read alot of blogs since yesterday and learnt alot of stuff. Last night I felt so positive but today *poof* gone like magic. And I lost three pounds!!!! So why am I feeling crap? Good question. Several excusable answers...

[a] I still feel a bit shitty from my chest infection

[b] I was very late in getting to the trainstation and in haste bought TWO MEAT PASTIES!

[c] I'm home with the family and have already written this week off as a loss.

[d] I have realised that the weight I have lost so far is just the weight I put on over christmas so essentially I am back at sqaure one

[e] Monday I am having my wisdom tooth out, I'm not worried about that itself but the fact I will be in agony and not feel like exercising

[f] Knowing that this week will result in loss worries me further because I tend to give up at the first failure.

Probably alot of that is over dramatised but thats how I feel. ok lets take them one at at time

[a] to be honest I haven't had the best nights sleep. Just as my infection died and I was set for a good nights sleep, my neighbours upstairs argued til 2am. And I had to be up early for my friday morning lecture. This has left me tired and a little grumpy.

[b] That said I was tired and running late for my train and headed straight for the express bakery outside the station. It was quick and easy and cheap, I reasoned. All thoughts of weightloss and my progress immediately flew out of the window. And you know what? It didn't even taste that nice. Yet I had to have TWO! Now I feel disheartened and very very guilty. But I must stay positive. In the past one mistake was my entire downfall. Just give up, easy peasy. Just looking at makes me feel sick to my stomach. It just reminds me how weak I am sometimes. MUST BE STRONGER. new mantra I feel.

[c] My family are not the healthiest of eaters and I love coming home to see them. But it worries me alot. I should probably lose weight just from the stress of thinking 'bout it! (never happens, but *shrugs*) It's more out of laziness than anything I guess. I trick myself into thinking I'm making it easier for them but I could cook my own meals. I COULD JUST SAY NO. I talk myself into...its only a couple of days... I can easily work that off. BOOM. Next thing I know I'm in a dark slump.

[d] I sadly realised, when pointing out my success so far to my flatemate, that actually the weight that has come off is just christmas weight. So really I am exactly where I was last year. SQUARE ONE. Which is certainly a little disheartening. It made me put into perspective how much weight I have to actually lose. That depressed me a little further. :( What I am learning from this blog already is my weaknesses but also my strengths. So even my fears of no one caring about it or reading it are slowly evaporating. After all I am doing this for myself.

[e] Next week is a worry because I've been told I'll be in agony from it and I have to rest with it for a couple of days anyway. Which means little or no exercise. Erratic sleeping patterns. Which means quick easy meals. All adds up to weight gain. But it has to be done. I must remain positive and just deal with it when it comes. I can always work harder next week. I just need to focus and stop being over dramatic and over worrying, It won't be the end of the world. *nods* a minor set back.

[f] Worrying about the gain is not going to do me any good. Accept it and move on. Stay positive. new mantra working well...



Christy said...

I understand completely. If it makes you feel any better, I worked until 11:00 last night and didn't feel like cooking when I got home. So Instead, I stopped by McDonalds on my weigh home. That's the first fast food I've had in over a month and now I feel terribly guilty.

Also, don't worry so much about your wisdom teeth extraction. I don't know about other people, when I had all 4 of mine removed last winter, I did incredibly well. I even went back to work 2 days later. My cheeks were puffy, but they gave me a lot of great medicine to make the pain go away.

Anyway, best of luck to you!

wildfluffysheep said...

Thanks for the positiveness about my wisdom tooth removal...All I have gotten was negative negative. not so helpful.

thanks for following my blog. it helps alot.

CactusFreek said...

How about, instead of your new mantra being "must be stonger" you say to yourself " i AM stronger, because i WANT this!"?

I went to the dentist last week too. And you could reason that, if it hurts to the point where you can't exercise, you won't be able to eat either. Maybe a little soup.

I have a family that don't have weight issues [except my husband] so they don't need low fat stuff. So i have to have seporate meals some nights, and compromise the other nights.
When they are on sale, i buy those Weight watchers frozen meals. But i only buy the ones that i can add extra frozen veges to, like Beef burgundy or beef hot pot coz that's the only way they'll fill me up.
Other nights i'll cook fish to add to the family dinner, so i have fish and veges while they have thier meat.
Or with a BBQ, i'll have lots of salad stuff and only a bit of meat, rather than lots of meat with a bit of salad.
If you are leaving the house for a lecture in the morning, think ahead and pack a lunch and snacks the night before.
There are simple ways around these situations of yours :o)