It's already one day after weigh in. Already I feel crap. I've read alot of blogs since yesterday and learnt alot of stuff. Last night I felt so positive but today *poof* gone like magic. And I lost three pounds!!!! So why am I feeling crap? Good question. Several excusable answers...
[a] I still feel a bit shitty from my chest infection
[b] I was very late in getting to the trainstation and in haste bought TWO MEAT PASTIES!
[c] I'm home with the family and have already written this week off as a loss.
[d] I have realised that the weight I have lost so far is just the weight I put on over christmas so essentially I am back at sqaure one
[e] Monday I am having my wisdom tooth out, I'm not worried about that itself but the fact I will be in agony and not feel like exercising
[f] Knowing that this week will result in loss worries me further because I tend to give up at the first failure.
Probably alot of that is over dramatised but thats how I feel. ok lets take them one at at time
[a] to be honest I haven't had the best nights sleep. Just as my infection died and I was set for a good nights sleep, my neighbours upstairs argued til 2am. And I had to be up early for my friday morning lecture. This has left me tired and a little grumpy.
[b] That said I was tired and running late for my train and headed straight for the express bakery outside the station. It was quick and easy and cheap, I reasoned. All thoughts of weightloss and my progress immediately flew out of the window. And you know what? It didn't even taste that nice. Yet I had to have TWO! Now I feel disheartened and very very guilty. But I must stay positive. In the past one mistake was my entire downfall. Just give up, easy peasy. Just looking at makes me feel sick to my stomach. It just reminds me how weak I am sometimes. MUST BE STRONGER. new mantra I feel.
[c] My family are not the healthiest of eaters and I love coming home to see them. But it worries me alot. I should probably lose weight just from the stress of thinking 'bout it! (never happens, but *shrugs*) It's more out of laziness than anything I guess. I trick myself into thinking I'm making it easier for them but I could cook my own meals. I COULD JUST SAY NO. I talk myself into...its only a couple of days... I can easily work that off. BOOM. Next thing I know I'm in a dark slump.
[d] I sadly realised, when pointing out my success so far to my flatemate, that actually the weight that has come off is just christmas weight. So really I am exactly where I was last year. SQUARE ONE. Which is certainly a little disheartening. It made me put into perspective how much weight I have to actually lose. That depressed me a little further. :( What I am learning from this blog already is my weaknesses but also my strengths. So even my fears of no one caring about it or reading it are slowly evaporating. After all I am doing this for myself.
[e] Next week is a worry because I've been told I'll be in agony from it and I have to rest with it for a couple of days anyway. Which means little or no exercise. Erratic sleeping patterns. Which means quick easy meals. All adds up to weight gain. But it has to be done. I must remain positive and just deal with it when it comes. I can always work harder next week. I just need to focus and stop being over dramatic and over worrying, It won't be the end of the world. *nods* a minor set back.
[f] Worrying about the gain is not going to do me any good. Accept it and move on. Stay positive. new mantra working well...
NO MORE EXCUSES.