Winning and Losing....

Today was weigh in day. The dreaded day. I haven't had the best week with food and done little exercise. I stayed the same. No loss. No gain. But I feel super guilty. I was 100 percent sure I was going to gain. I feel kind of guilty I didn't, like I cheated or something. Last night I had a bit of a panic and did a small workout but in reality it wouldn't affect todays weigh in. I should feel happy that I didn't gain. Now I'm left feeling stupid that I feel guilty. Would I really rather gain?

NO. That was last week. New week, new focus! Had a great nights sleep. And theres barely any pain from my tooth so definitely new excuses. None. I have energy and lots and lots of errands so I should get on it! One blog that has really inspired me is Chubby Chicks. And on reading it I saw a blog entry that really interested me. She had written down all the reasons she didn't want to be fat. I thought this was a great idea. So last night I made my own list of why I don't want to be fat. So far I have sixty four reasons and counting... Reading it back after furiously scribbling for half an hour made me realise how much I really truely want to lose this hideous weight. Some of the things I wrote down made me want to cry from embarrassment. So when I'm having a bad day or feeling crap I hope to look back on this list and have it renew my motivation and whip my arse into gear.

There are alot of other blogs that have inspired me and have given me ideas to motivate myself. But one idea at a time. Looking at my weekly weigh in picture is filling my veins with energy as we speak. Repulsion can be quite a strong emotion. I hate those lumps and bumps and my enormous middle. So on that note I am off to do something about it....