Gawd... I am even tearing up as I right this. I am feeling really pathetic right now. I am eating like food is going out of fashion. And I am not caring. I just feel rock bottom again. Even when I am snacking I am thinking I am going to regret this then just continue chomp chomp chomping down on whatever. Moving back home is harder than I thought and not being able to find a job is killing me. I am tired and my back hurts from the airbed and being fat. All I am doing is whining. Making excuses. I just do not have the energy. For anything. I don't even want to get out of bed.
I signed back up at the gym today. (My gran is paying for my membership til I get back on my feet) and it just seemed like too much fucking effort. I was so close to actually just breaking right down there in the gym.
My head is clearly not in the right place. I don't want to be back to what I was when I started the blog but... I don't know... all I really feel like doing is crying. And whining to people how bad my life is.
I just do not know what to do.