Monday, 30 March 2009

Back on the weighty wagon....

Firstly can I just say a huge massive loving thank you and BIG (teletubby) HUGS (thanks Dina) to everyone who commented on my last post and wished my grandpa well. You have no idea how much I appreciated and needed it. You guys rock! Seriously can't say that enough...

It seems that my enthusiasm to this weight loss journey is always an extreme. (Tony's blog this week mentions this too) I am either really devoted and going strong or hating it and want to quit right there and then. No in between. One or the other. And it just changes from day to day which feels stupid. How can I feel so great one day and the next be ready to give up? I do not understand what happens over night to make this great change. I feel it is quite scary. Especially the short time in which my mood changes dramatically.

I feel like I have managed to pull this week a little bit back on track.

Reasons why...

1. I accepted the circumstances in which I binged.
2. I put the binge in the past and am not dwelling on it.
3. I have drank lots of water. More than usual. This cheered me.
4. No more enormous portions. Back to the normal.
5. No cravings for chocolate or pizza.
6. Back into doing at least an hour on the wii fit a day.
7. I joined the local gym today.(just for the two weeks i'm with the family) I did an hour and a half and tried out a fat burning work out on the cross trainer. INTENSE.
8. I went on an hour long walk right around our village with my Dad and the dog.
9. We have managed to settle into  a bit of  a routine around hospital visits so I am eating at better times.
10. I made my healthy kick arse chilli and enough to freeze

*nods* I feel a hundred percent more positive than saturday. I hope this feeling stays a while. I know this week is definitely not leading to loss but I am hoping to pull off staying the same or at most a one pound gain. I feel sick typing it but I need to hold myself accountable...

I had a giant pizza.  A massive Burger King meal. ( i don't even like burger king)I had four kit kats. Fizzy drinks. No exercise. No controlled portions. Midnight eating. Eating when I knew I wasn't hungry.

I added more stuff to motivation blog. :D Looking through it made me realise JUST HOW MUCH I DO WANT THIS. Actually how much I need to lose this fucking weight. I just didn't think it would be this hard this early.

 These are pictures and stuff from motivation book. Progress pictures first. Yay. The other two sets of pics are ones that I hate of me. Ones that I can see how enormous I look. Also I saw the virtual me on some one elses blog. (if its yours sorry, I can't remember) Which is good and bad. Good its shows me at this weight and at my goal weight next to each other which is great for comparison purposes. But the fat version of me is not really like me. It distributes the weight evenly and isn't lumpy like me. lol. Guess I'm being picky.


Anonymous said...

Hurray for feeling back on track and for all the excercise your doing! I think it's normal to feel positive one day and not so much the next. It sucks but it's the emotional part of why we eat that makes us okay one minute and binging the next. It's learning to control that and dealing with all the emotions that's the hardest part.

Good luck on a great week ahead =)

Dina said...

Glad to hear you're doing better! I'm the same with the "all or nothing" thing. I think most of us are and that's why we can relate. Sounds like you have a great plan for going forward! :)O

Emily said...

I love your motivation book!!! :o)
and good on you for getting back on the weighty wagon. It is hard to stay up on it, but it's good when you are there. :o)

I was sorry to read about your grandfather. I hope he is doing well. xx

Tony said...

Hey, that's a great idea! If I weren't so lazy I would make a motivation book lolz.

IRJessica said...

You've inspired me to make a motivation book!

I'll tell you what caught me on starting a diet in the past. I tried to jump in too fast. I cut my calories down too sharply. I was fine for a day or two, coasting on the recent excess I had eaten. Then my body screams it's starving and I grew hungrier and hungrier until I quit the diet. I'm having much better results with super slow, and steady. I think 0.8 loss a week is super, and any more is a bonus. If I lose over 2 lb in a week, I know to add more food or I'm about to fall off the wagon.

Good luck!

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Glad to hear you're back on track :)

These things happen, but you just keep going. And for me it was hardest in the beginning, but now I'm in my groove and doing alright :)

Losing Waist! said...

Pizza and chocolate are my two most common downfalls... You sound so much better!

I am glad that you got things back to a more balanced state with your physical and mental! Thanks for all of the encouragment lately!

antgirl said...

I've been there - bursting with enthusiasm or loathing. It's enough to make us dizzy, eh?

The swings teach us what we are and are not so willing to do. They teach us a lot about ourselves. Pay attention, it'll help you make adjustments to make a plan that's saner for you. If that makes sense.

I was all or nothing, too. This time around I decided that half assed was better than the size my ass had become. LOL Some effort was better than none and if I strove to do better instead of perfect, well that seemed OK with me. It was still work and effort, but I was more OK framing it that way.

I don't see what's so bad about the pics you hate so much. But I can empathize. There are many pics of me I just can not stand. But, we're always our own harshest critics.

Mary - A Merry Life said...

I totally understand where you are coming from. Eh. I LOVE the idea of the motivation book! I might make my own if I find some motivation for that haha.

Anonymous said...

I too diet in extremes, and am working to find a happy middle ground. It's all about balance, something I know nothing about lol

Thank you for sharing photos of your motivation book!

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

I think I might have to give the motivation book a try's a wonderful idea!

wildfluffysheep said...

:D Hurray indeedy! Learning to curb emotional eating is really hard, I hope I'm learning to deal with it better. Thanks for the luck.

Thanks. I definitely I am doing better :D

Yay. Thanks. I needed a stash of permanent motivation. I love making crap too. My grandpa is doing much better thanks.

lol. You should :D

Yay. LOL. that makes me a muse!
Yeah, know what you mean about doing it too fast. I am always trying to myself its a marathon not sprint. Thanks for the luck

@Fat Lazy Guy
I am glad to be back on track. I hope to find a groove soon.

@Losing Waist
Pizza is a demon. I'm not usually a choc fan but those darn Kit-kats just sneak'd up on me. You are most welcome and thank you for stopping by :D

Incredibly dizzy and sometimes a little sick! It's true I am learning alot about myself on this journey. lol @ the ass thing. Again so wise.....

@Mary -A Merry Life
Bring on the motivation book!LOL DO IT.

thanks for stopping by, missus. Balancing is hard lol and not just on my wii fit.

@Ugly girl with a beautiful heart
I think you should. Its great. Works for me alot. :D and thanks.