the DREADED weigh in...

Another consecutive loss! 2 pounds well deserved this week I feel. :D My commitment to the gym despite spending ungodly hours in the library has paid off. That leaves me with four pounds to lose to make it to an even two stone. A total of 24 pounds gone. 1 Stone 10 pounds GONE which puts me bang in the middle of the 19 stones. New figure of 19 stones and 7 unsightly pounds. (that last seven is probably my wibbly wobbly back fat).

The belly under my equator line no longer hangs sweet and low. I am on the last notch of my belt. I've made it to a smaller bra size with out losing a cup size. I feel great.

Since going home to my family a week or so ago for a couple of weeks I got into the habit of going on my wii fit every day. Set loads of records, clocked in ten hours and was feeling great. But since I came back to Manchester I've only been on it twice. I was feeling sad because I'm going to have to start from scratch with my statistics. But then I realised I could totally turn this to my advantage! So last night I went at it. Thanks in much inspiration to Emilywho has just got her own wii fit.

CactusFreek suggested I post a picture of my back fat! But I don't think I am quite ready for that! I mean  I could just about post my swimming suit pictures and show every one my knickers but back fat is just a step too far! 

Jessi on her blog is thinking about doing a real cool exchange of packages and what not. Once a month a you trade a box of small surprises with another blogger :D I think it is a great idea. One. I love being creative Two. It's awesome to get stuff in the post Three. It will be good for motivation and the like Four. it would be cool to know some of the bloggers a little better so if you're interested go check her out @ Shrinky Dinky...

Wooohoo I hit fifty followers :D

And thanks for all the support about Pedro.... And no Carlos, he most definitely did not commit suicide!

I am taking the morning off from studying and spending some quality time with me :D Woohoo to a great week.

Pedro the Pedometer. R.I.P

[30th March 2009 - April 29th 2009]

'tis a sad day! My fat fighting friend Pedro the pedometer died. He was hustled off of my hip and crushed to death during a stampede on the bus home from the library.

We had such a short time together but it was a time well spent. We were practically joined at the hip. Walks in the park, working out together or even just slumped on the couch, good times.

R.I.P Pedro, my stepping friend.

Wibble wobbble....

...wibble wobble jelly on a cross trainer! My worry of the week is back fat. Yep. Obsessed. I was working away on the cross trainer, feet a pedalling arms a pulling to and fro and BAM. wibble wobble wibble wobble. The back fat was moving like crazy. I could actually feel it. It was disgusting but in motivating me to go faster it wobbled and wibbled more. Then it became the sole focus. BACK FAT BACK FAT BACK FAT EURGH. Even when I left the gym and went to the library to study, as I was bent over my books I was like how does my back fat come across? just how lumpy is it? does it wobble all the time? is it wibbling right now? Are people staring at it? Finally managed to get it to the back burner and got a couple of hours studying in but jeesh... Not what I need with my exams to focus on.....

Also I discovered oooooooooogling the hotties is not conducive to a good work out. I was staring/day dreaming about my future life with one particular fitty and almost fell of the bike. That would have been embarrassing but seriously he was beautiful.... *sighs*

On the positive side I've been managing to gym it around studying at the library, even if it is just for an hour but :( have slacked on my blogging. I've literally been getting up, studying, eating right, going to the gym and by the time I get home I'm exhausted. I practically fall into bed with all my clothes on. So sorry to posting late and missing out on all the good and not so good shit in bloggerdom. I am working on things :D

My mp3 player broke a little while back and it was stuck playing on one album. (Jimmy Eat World, Clarity) Awesome album but that's all I could listen to and after a while you need some thing fresh. So I borrowed some pennies off my mam and bought a new one. Relatively cheap. Sixty squids. It came y.day. OMG the power of new music has totally rejuvenated my work out and also my mundane journey to the gym. :D

I was up extra early to day because I had a doctors appointment. That annoyed me because it was early, but what annoyed me more was when I got there and checked in, THEY DIDN'T CHECK ME IN. I was told to take a seat and things were running late.  3o minutes later I went over and asked how much longer it would be and the woman said they hadn't marked me as present and that they were sorry and I would be next. I didn't see the doctor til another half an hour. Then I had to have an internal exam. GARGH. I am more postive now but earlier was not the best start to the morning. On a good note she couldn't feel any cysts and I'm not with child so they have to take bloods to work out why my period is five months late.  Digressing...

Back to studying....

[I'm in the library right now (taking a break from studying) and just wanted to say there is the most beautiful boy sitting across from me. I FEEL LIKE A MOOSE. On the plus side he did smile at me :D]

Sorry bit of a long one.. haven't posted in a couple days or something...

haruuuumph

It's been a while since this happened and then it happens twice with in twenty four hours!

I was going to get my stickers in town and I was weaving through the busy afternoon crowds when some kids on bikes were bustling through. I saw the crowd split so I went left to avoid them and one of them wasn't looking where he was going and swerved into me, I managed to side step him just in time but looked at him to say wtf? And right in the middle of the crowd he yelled 'Well if you weren't so fuckin' big!' Every one just looked at me. I was mortified. So got the stickers and hurried off to the gym. As I rounded the student union a car slowed down and some boys yelled fatty out of the window. I took a deep breathe and went to the gym. I just ignored it but twice in one day? Come on people, cut me some slack! Instead of motivating me to work harder at the gym I just felt like what's the point. So I kinda just did the usual but without much gusto. Gargh.

Despite the stickers I'm finding right now that my motivation is lacking. The revision and long hours in the library is driving me insane. I feel like I have zero life. Eat right, revise, exercise and sleep. Repeated like a million times. Not fun. Also I feel like I'm really behind in catching up on peoples blogs which is sucky 'cause you guys are awesome. I don't want to cry but I can feel it on coming...

the DREADED weigh-in...

...is not too bad this week! I've managed to lose what I gained after I lost my mini target *deep breath* I am not going to get excited like I did the first time round because I feel that didn't help me at all. Made me too cocky. So three pound loss we meet again. That takes me back to a total of twenty pounds gone. A stone and eight horrible pounds down. So now I can keep my stone and half sticker and not feel like a fraud. On a slightly more positive note I feel thin today. lol. It's true. I feel like I can tell in my body the three pounds has gone which is weird because yesterday I felt like I'd gained five ginormous pounds. 

To help me stay motivated to exercising... not that it is a major problem. Like I said yesterday, it's just starting it that I find hard once I'm doing it I am AWESOME. True I just wanted to buy some funky stickers. Any ways on Jessica's blog I first saw she was using stickers on a calender to mark off when she exercised. I thought this was a really good idea. You would be able to see clearly all the times you'd gone to the gym and all the times you haven't. Also since my calendars pretty empty of events I thought it would be a nice way to spruce it up :D Never got round to doing it.... then Ang's blog I saw she was now using stickers so I thought fuck it I am jumping on the stickers and exercise band wagon. *nods* got me some funky coloured spotty stickers to record gym, steps and wii fit stuff. Also some silver stars for when I lose weight and an un-smiley face for when I don't. ALSO I totally forgot I signed up to the goverment's anti obese health kick Change for Life (those are the funky exercise stickers above) and they sent me some awesome stickers to monitor my fruit, veg and exercise.

Below are the fruit and veg stickers. There's a chart too.... but it was empty so no pointing showing that....

Must go prepare exam stuff. Another sunny day spent in the library *sigh*

I lost three pounds this week life is good. Repeat.

Lots of shizzle....

Woohoo. Just realised I've hit fifty posts :D Oh yeah. lol.

I think my knickers were a hit yesterday. Highest amount of comments ever lol. Didn't think they'd draw such a crowd.They are are awesome though....

Things I am learning at the gym...

[a] When I haven't been to the gym for like a week my painful achey Grandma hip returns. It is still hurting today. It kept me up last night too 'cause I couldn't turn over properly in bed, which was annoying because I was absolutely knackered.

[b] Instead of looking round for other fatties like I now look for the hotties. That's right I've become a gym pervert. Oooogling and daydreaming... damn. Makes the gym time go faster though.Take yesterday as an example.. There was the most beautiful guy on the treadmill in front of me with the nicest bum ever. *content sigh*

[c] I can actually take a book and read while I'm on the bike. WOOHOO.

[d] I must never ever go there with out my mp3 player. The machine noises I can bare but the guys in the weight area were killing me. The grunts and moans that came from the section scared me. At one point I thought one of them was having sex with a goat or something equally as nasty. Eurgh. Haunted by those sounds....

[e] How much I do love going. Well once I make it there. Half the effort is making me go but once I'm there I'm always like why was it so hard to get here? Stupid...

[f] I no longer feel self conscious. I am there to workout. Who cares about the other people? So what if my gym clothes aren't cool?  Pfft not me.

I also made it to 13,000 steps yesterday despite the grandma hip condition. My eating has been bang on too. Which in turn is making me feel awesome. But I have to go pick up my exam paper today :( not good for exercise and whatnot...

Energy

I've been pretty good all week with not climbing on the scales to check where I'm at (in fear of seeing an unsightly gain)....until this morning. *sigh* And it looks OK, I've managed to stay the same so far which means I can still pull off a loss. I haven't really exercised this week... due to being back at uni and sorting out exam revision... so I wasn't expecting a loss.

I'm also still recovering from the domino effect of the one late night. It doesn't seem to matter what time I go to bed or get up I can't seem to get back into the rhythm of a good sleep and I'm feeling generally OK but energy-less and groggy. I don't 

think that helped my motivation to head to the gym either. I need 

an instant shot of energy. Maybe I just have to suck it up and summon it myself.

Just a small ramble. I must go do.

The sun is shining and the park inviting...

*added* I just got dressed and you know what? I'm feeling it  :D lol above are my new ginormous knickers. Meps wrote something a while back about clothes and resizing. About undies in particular. She was right. No matter what size you're wearing on the top. a good set of undies make you feel soooooo much better. This are now my happy knickers. They've cheered me up no end. I put 'em on after I initally ended this post and BOOM energy and happiness followed. Just wanted to add that.

lessons learning....

The BBQ went awesome. Maybe a little too well.

It was sunny and relaxed and I actually struck up some intelligible conversation as apposed to my mumbling and moving on technique. I felt happy and confident. Trying to stick to the low cal alcohol I managed to go ok with the gin and tonic but seriously ended up a few more than intended. I wasn't drunk but enough to loosen my good food attitude which made for some bad food choices. Mainly too many choices.

I realised today I don't just over eat when I'm sad but also when I'm really happy. I know that sounds crazy but its true. I was in that happy anything flies mode. Oh just one more deep fried wing, I rarely go out whats this one time.... one more g'n't and then I realise I had been saying that for the last 6 or 7. I am only ever doing good when I feel ok. Or when I am in hermit mode. Why can't I be happy and good? When I feel happy I tend not to care about the bad because I don't want to ruin the mood, like if I deny myself something it would be the end of the frickin' world.

Also my face has broken out from all the fatty crap I ate. A mountain range has practically sprung up on face. MY BODY IS CLEARLY SCREAMING DON'T BLOODY EAT IT. Yet as much as I hate the spots and the gains and unhappy times they bring with them its not enough for me to just simply say no.

*sigh* This is not a miserable post btw. I had a great day, I had great night last night at the BBQ and I am looking forward to the week. Annnnnnnnd if the sun hangs around long enough I may even venture out in the skirt. Here's hoping....

Happy go lucky....

I haven't worn a skirt in like 5 years.

On impulse I tried on old one I had hanging in the back of the wardrobe.

And it bloody fit me.

And the sun is shining. Just doing my hair and putting in some earrings each morning makes a fucking world of difference. So major love to all those who suggested I do these simple things to make myself feel better when I was deep my in my selfpity party. It really helps me stay on track because I am feeling good in general and don't want't to lose this feeling. On a few blogs this week I read that if only we could bottle this feeling for when we hit the hard times. I know exactly what they mean. I am literally buzzing as I write this. My feet can't stop still. 

On another positive note, we actually had people over last night and not once did I feel self concious or fat like I usually do in social situations. Granted it was only a couple of good people but I'm counting it as a postive because I would usually be thinking the whole time shes so slim and I'm such a moose. And because of that I am braving another social gathering, yes people, I am coming out of hermitville WATCH OUT. Because the weather is actually hot and sunny some peeps are cracking out the barbecue and having a garden party (the sun is rare here in England, you got to pounce on it, and when I say hot, I mean its not raining lol) So yay things are looking good. I just hope this feeling lasts. I am doing super with my eating and even better with my water. Steps and exercise are on the way.

Feeling great...

I realised today just how much I do actually enjoy exercising and eating healthy. I went swimming today and we had to go the really deep pool because the regular pool was swamped with small kids. Me and my fat are not friends with small children. I never use the deep pool because when I can't reach the bottom I kind of panic and think I might drown. However, swimming with the kids was not an option. I couldn't take another small child pointing out the obvious. It turned out to be the best thing I ever did. The pool is longer as well as deeper. But because I couldn't touch the floor I had to swim the entire length with out stopping. I usually stop mid way because I'm lazy but I couldn't do that today or I'd drown. I swam more longer lengths than usual and feel absolutely great. Energetic and fresh.

My house mate went for a greasy breakfast fry up after and I wasn't even tempted to join her. Which made me all happy. Usually I'm so weak with that because she was all like 'I feel bad you're not eating, just have something' I didn't even fancy it, all I could smell was grease. Annnnndddd even though I only did 450 steps (i know, sheesh) up until 5 pm because I was revising and studying all day, I managed to claw my ten thousand steps back. Thank god for wii fit. I did all my stepping on that. I realised now I'm home I have to unlock everything from scratch and set all my records again. It kinda annoys me but in another way it gives me something fresh to work too.

Hope everyone else is feeling so great.

the EXTRA dreaded weigh in..

Yep. Last weeks four pounds back on.

Like the loss never happened.

On the plus side I am feeling much more positive and feel more securely on track. I did my hair :D painted my nails and dressed good. I feel great.This week is going to be good. I can feel it. I am stepping more. Theres no more crap food in the house. The weathers shit but that is not a problem I can exercise inside. Hopefully I can make it to the gym today. Positive. Positive. Positive.

Don't really have much else to say.

Except again, thanks for the support.

stupidity...

Why do I do it when I know better?

I have no really satisfying explanation or reason as to why I went off the deep end in the food department this week. I wasn't miserable or depressed. I just really couldn't be bothered. And that really annoys me. I feel so stupid. I keep telling myself how easy it is to spot the mistakes and the signs that lead us astray. I read other peoples blogs and learn a lot. How to do it, what works and what doesn't and I think with all this help and knowledge why isn't it so fucking easy?

Emotions. Just can't control them. I still can't believe that I didn't have any will power this week. I feel like it deserted me. Not once did I utter the word no. Just more. More. Please more. I felt like a junkie. Read this post by Ang. It really explains alot. I really enjoyed eating all the crap and not worrying about it. In those moments of stuffing my face I didn't care or even think of the consequences. Now, in the cold hard reality of my flat, by myself I realise how much I regret letting this week go to shit. I haven't even read any blogs. I didn't want to feel guilty. I knew what I was doing and just thought so what? So fucking what.

That great feeling of losing four pounds couldn't keep me grounded. Didn't make me want to keep going, didn't fuel my encouragement of the good I've done for far. At least I am not making excuses. I know it was me, not the situation, not other people, just greedy fat lazy ol' me. What I did feel about this week is ugly and ashamed. I was this close to giving up this week, for good. Just not caring seemed so simple and effortless, too easy.

Today I am back on track so far as food goes. I'm good with the water. I'm back in love with my pedometer. I'm not keeping my food post weigh in treat, I need to think of a better and more fullfilling reward.  I am not looking forward to weighing in tomorrow. But I just have to accept it and move on. This isn't the end. I need to do this for so many reasons. Giving up now isn't an option.

Thank you so much to all the people who encouraged me on my last post. I just read those comments and they mean alot. I know I couldn't do this with out you lot. Cue corny music.

No excuses...

I did not not attempt to pull myself back on track.

Good intentions are not enough.

I have no excuses.

I could not be bothered with the effort.

I resigned this week quickly to being lost.

I ate more crap... crisps, cheese, chocolate, sugary drinks.

No stepping.

Lots of lazing around.

Lots of not caring.

Right now I just feel like crying, putting on my pjs and playing out to the selfpity party.

And eating. Lots of glorious eating.

Some where deep down I know I don't want this. Or I wouldn't be posting.

BUT... 

*shrugs*

accountability....

I FINALLY MADE IT TO 600 ON THE WII FIT AEROBICS

I had been trying super hard the last few weeks to make it to bloody six hundred. SERIOUS EFFORT. Then my gran came over for good Friday and she loves watching me on the wii. She thinks its amazing what it does and since I am a favourite its down to me show the wii fit. I didn't even change into my exercise shorts like I usually do, I thought I'll just give her a quick demo. AND BAM. I did six hundred the first time I showed her. With out concentrating! In my jeans! Couldn't believe it. Grrrrr but yay at the same time. On another positive number victory I hit 20, 000 steps yesterday. ok... ok.... the accountability part...

Despite the great high from this weeks loss and feeling great mind, body and spirit I went off on a Easter weekend blitz. Not chocolate eggs but take out food. I went out with my friends on Friday drank far more wine than was necessary and ate the worst Chinese food I have had in a long time. I don't think I would have minded this excess had I had a good time but no, it was eurgh. Not content with leaving it there I came home and had yet another Chinese take out. I didn't even resist. No fight. No effort. Just simply went ok. Afterwards I rationalised it as well its the last time I would be having it from there as I'm going home on Tuesday.... I'll work it off no sweat. I think I became a little cocky from this weeks results. My skin has broken out in protest from the crap I've eaten so far AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

Saying that, it is only Sunday... The day is young and the sun is shining. Maybe I can shift the stodge before it really clings to my hips. Back on plan, people, back on plan.

A euphoric high...

More positives for this week.. (besides still super high from yesterdays results). I think my sister realised how mean she was to me the other day because when she came home from uni yesterday she was super nice to me and (I have never worn makeup) gave me all her make up she no longer uses. She encouraged me to wear a little and just stuff I could manage. (Ironically, I've never worn make up because I don't think I'm pretty, my sister keeps saying you wear make up to look better so g

o figure...) She curled my hair and helped me get ready.(cue picture on the left, in my defence the picture didn't turn out all that well) Since I wasn't home to celebrate Mothers day we went out last night for dinner to a favourite restaurant of ours. And partially just to be happy for my loss this week. It was a great night, family entertainment wise. I had steak and kidney pie. I totally regret it. Before I got home my stomach ached and I know this sounds gross but it literally went straight through me. Eurgh. I don't think my stomach could handle the fattier pastry and rich gravy and the bigger portion that I'm not used to. My low fat version of that pie tastes just as great and is way better for my stomach. So I think I might take out my post weigh in food treat and reward myself with some thing else...

On the wii front.... I got a solid total of ten hours on the wii fit ( even though it didn't count an entire hour once, damnit) And it turned my little time piggy bank bronze! TA -DAH. Also I did 15,737 steps yesterday. I wore my pedometer to the gym and did like 5000 steps there and felt like that was kinda cheating so I pushed forward and did my usual 10, 000 steps on top of it. That made me feel extra good.

It's good Friday and I am feeling good. I was even up an hour earlier and showered and all that jazz. I love being the only one awake in the morning :D right I must move my arse. Things to be done...

HAPPY EASTER.

the NOT so dreaded weigh in...

I peeked during the week. Couldn't resist. I knew I'd lost this week but was in for a shock how much. Infact I stepped on and off the scales at least ten times this morning. And moved the scales around thinking the floor must be uneven or some crap. But no. No matter where I put it it came out the same. 19.8 pounds firmly in the 19 stones, no longer skirting the dirty age. WHICH MAKES A LOSS OF FOUR POUNDS FOR THE WEEK.  Man that makes me happy. I gained a pound and stayed the same the last couple of weeks and I so felt that I was going to be stuck in a fucking rut but no I persevered this week. I must say this weeks loss goes to my pedometer! (I actually fell asleep with it clipped to my pj bottoms... if that isn't love....) I didn't make it to the gym all week (which had me super worried but just didn't have the time) but I was stepping like a...I  don't know.... a giant stepping machine that never stops stepping. This ten thousand steps a day thing is totally working for me. And food wise I was excellent too :D

Annnnnnnnnnnndddddddd..... not only did losing 4 pounds this week totally lift my spirits, I reached a weight loss target.  Well, a mini one. I never set it myself. But I got another slimming world sticker. I've lost a stone and a half. Well a pound over that actually. 1 stone and 8 pounds in total. 22 FRICKIN' POUNDS. I wanted to make it to twenty pounds gone for like three weeks. I feel like a weight has been lifted (pun intended) :D woohoo,

Also..... I managed to squeeze forty five minutes at the gym this morning and created my first salad of the year so far. I hate salad leaves. Any kind of leaves. But I was trying to make an effort in eating salads 'cause they're all healthy and shit. This one wasn't that great but I feel I deserve points for effort. It doesn't matter what combo I have with them. Or what salad dressing I have on it. I JUST DON'T LIKE SALAD LEAVES. I think I have made peace with salads today. Here's a picture of it anyways... its ginormous.

A quickie...

I must admit that investing in the pedometer is one of the best things I have bought this year :D and really, I never thought I'd hear myself say stuff like that! I check it constantly, and when I feel I am slacking I just get up and walk a few more steps. I am aiming for my 10,000 steps a day and so far I haven't been to far from acheiving it...

day 1 3, 597 (this was only from 6pm onwards)

day 2 7, 775

day 3 12, 297

day 4 10, 313

day 5 11, 333

day 6 6, 122 (cinema sucked half the day away)

day 7 10, 367

Not a bad first week I feel. It's only Tuesday and I can feel it in my bones that I have lost this week. (well, not just in my bones, I did accidently fell upon the scales this morning and it just so happened to show a loss) Also I got my frickin' wii age down to a gap of 3 years! BRING IT ON.

Also huge thanks to everyone who commented yesterday. It gave me much to reflect upon. You guys are awesome.

musings and maybes

I love my sister dearly but there are some times when all I really want to do is throttle her to death and bury her in the garden. She is definitely the must frustrating person in the world. We went to the movies yesterday (which accounts for my low steppage, a mere 6122). We were hitting the one pm show, I told her to have lunch before she went or she'd be starving and eating at lunch at 3.300ish would upset eating dinner later. She never listens, don't know why I bother. So I had mine, quorn chilli con carni with potato. This guaranteed I was full and wouldn't pig out on crap while we were there and also saves me money. Sweets and crap at the cinema are well expensive.

My sisters stomach growled loudly through out the entire movie. So loud I could hear it about the film, I mean, come on, films aren't quiet. So afterwards shes ravenous and the easiest option to her is to stop at McDonald's. I am immune to McDonald's so it wasn't too bad. Her food smelt horrible and looked terribly greasy so I was even tempted. She kept offering me bites and shoving it in my face saying one bite won't hurt.... I got past that. And then from out of no where she turns and says to me "losing weight isn't going to solve all of your problems. You'll just find new excuses to hide behind." For like thirty seconds I was like 'What?'. She went on to say that I wouldn't be miraculously cured of all my bad hang ups and that I still wouldn't be confident.

I do wear my emotions on my sleeve and was initially hurt by what she said. I don't know why it came to her to say that while she was chomping on fried chicken and were just listening to the radio. I realise losing weight is not a miracle cure to gaining full confidence but I dare say being happier and healthier may boost my confidence just a little. I just wish she would focus on the positive of this journey with me instead of the negative. I don't need to worry about what will happen when I get there I need to focus on the now. She constantly says things like 'I'd rather be fat than eat that' or 'You've been saying you'll be skinny for years'. Even when she says some positive it is immediately followed by something negative. Some times she is hard to be around. But I don't have many friends and really rely upon her company when I am the family place.

My sister isn't skinny or slim. She is over weight. But she really does carry it well and she's really pretty to boot. Her curves are curves, mine are just enormous lumps. She has great dress sense and no matter what she does to her she always looks good. Maybe part of me is jealous that shes fat but looks good and has millions of friends. Its just when I make an effort to look good I end up just looking OK and feel there's no point in doing it. So I don't bother. Perhaps I should make an effort to dress better despite loathing clothes shopping with a burning passion and maybe do my hair more? I feel its wasted though because I don't really go out and no one will see it or care. Maybe it would just make me feel better.

Maybe... Maybe... Maybe.

This is by no means a miserable post or self pity party :D I am full of energy today and am actually happy... it's just a bit of melancholy moment, just needed to air it out so it won't ruin my day.

calm after the storm

(i was going so fast towards the end and I couldn't get the last step in to round it up DAMN IT)

All is well on the weighty wagon. Firmly wedged on. *nods* Gutted I couldn't go to the gym this morning but helping out my gran is more important right now. My grandpa is coming home from hospital today and my sister is arriving some time this afternoon so its going to be busy busy busy. Hopefully means a lot of steps. Yay. Completely addicted to the pedometer now. I clocked in a 12,297 steps yesterday. Oh YEAH. And did 2 hours on the wii fit... although it didn't count one of my aerobic step sessions for some reason. Annoying.

I usually don't post the day after weigh in but... a. I have some things to get out. and b) I forgot some things from yesterday. TA-DAH my obligatory post weigh in picture. *nods* that's right the same drab clothes as every other week!!! Ah the slimming black.... (also my hair is super messy but now just long enough but the tiniest pigtails in.yay.)

Also I hadn't taken my inch measurements in while. So we measured up. Got a little surprise. And the numbers are....

(in inches)

(CURRENT) (PREVIOUS) -/+

ARMS 17 ARMS 18 -1

BUST 48 BUST 48 0

WAIST 42 WAIST 44 -2

HIPS 56 HIPS 57 -1

THIGHS 33 THIGHS 33 0

the two inch loss on the waist cheered me up immensely. happy with these numbers I am.

Also my other grandma who isn't sick but is very lonely told me something very interesting when I went to keep her her company the other day. She was impressed with my progress so far and had been putting five pounds in a jar every time I lost. I told her there was no need, I don't need the money incentive but being a grandma she knows best. However the most interesting thing she did say was that when me and my brother and sister were kids she never ever gave us child sized portions because she thought fat kids were cute. My mam was ill a lot when were younger and we spent A LOT of time at my grandmas house. I am not making excuses because I could have started losing weight along time ago but it is something to think on. I have always been over weight. Chubby kid at primary school then the fat kid at secondary school. I am not blaming her or anything but it does explain a little bit. I am not going to dwell on it or anything. Whats done is done. It is now that is important because I am actually doing something about it.

*deep breath*

:D I watched Hairspray last night (the most recent version) I love Travolta's part in it.(HILARIOUS) The reason I was bringing it was because its a fat friendly film. The fat girl gets the good looking guy. Seriously. He's so pretty. I HEART ZAC EFRON (though seriously high school music makes me want to scrape out my eyes with a rusty spoon. I fell asleep with hope a hunk like that will find me irresistible. *sigh*

the extra dreaded weigh in...

I have really dreaded this weigh in. Been a nightmare week despite getting myself on track. And last night at 10pm I was lying in the bath. A small little bit of panic set in. How much water was my body soaking up and was this conducive to my weigh in in the morning?Gargh where the weight losing mind will go next...

 Another loss would not bode well despite knowing the circumstances in which I fell off the wagon. Two consecutive gains would have been disastrous. However, I've managed to pull this week back. I PULLED OFF STAYING THE SAME. Oh my days, that actually feels good. I did work hard to claw this week back and finally my exercise feels like it bloody paid off. This weigh in has put me in good spirits. Which is great because the sun is shining and quite inviting... more outdoor walks! Yay for fresh air.

I've decided to not have my post weigh in treat. I feel like I definitely don't deserve it this week, definitely didn't derseve it last week either. Also it gives me a better chance of getting back on to my losing streak. Altogether feeling a lot more postive. *nods* YES. I will lose this week. Damnit.

Other numbers this week...

I was reading older posts in TJ's blog and remembered she'd posted some wii fit numbers. I went and looked back. Her advanced aerobic step numbers were over the 600s.  It in inspired me to beat her lol. I was averaging only 450 and felt like I needed to step up my game. I never quite made it to 6oo but 557 isn't too far away. So thanks, TJ for motivating me. So now my top four scores are all over 500. Yay. I get perfect scores stepping on but I just ok points coming off. I am working on that..... Also I did over 3,000 steps on the free step thingy whilst I watched the wire. Good stuff.

Another source of inspiration came from TMcGee's blog. She not only inspired me to get a blender and make delicious smoothies but after her addiction to counting steps I bought a pedometer. It is compulsive. I am constantly checking how many steps certain things take. My first full day yesterday and a clocked an ok 7775 steps. Which looking at it now is weird because I wish I had done two more friggin' steps for an even 7777. I like symmetry. I shall beat that number today.